I love December. I love the holidays. I love the feeling in the air.
I don’t love feeling incomplete and not being able to meet everyone’s expectations (particularly MY OWN.)
One of the toughest things that I think families have to deal with over the holidays is figuring out the dreaded schedule. Who are you going to see on Thanksgiving? Who are you going to see on Christmas? Where are you spending all your holidays? It’s hard enough figuring it out between two families. Throw in divorced families and extended family, and it gets extremely complicated.
Several years ago, I was definitely one of those people who said “when I have kids, ya’ll are going to have to come to us”. And I’m sure once the Squoosh is here and I’m dealing with two munchkins, that will be much more of the truth. But with the Bug, we’ve still hopped around a smidge. Fortunately, both my mother and my MIL live within 30 minutes of us, so we are able to coordinate many holidays where we all celebrate as one large family (which is my preference and what I’m used to. It’s just not Thanksgiving or Christmas if there isn’t lots of people bustling around with loud conversation, games and lots of food.)
However, the rest of the family is spread out.
All of my grandparents live in Virginia. (Yes, I am almost 33 years old and still have 3 living grandparents. I am supremely lucky and cherish every occasion where I can spend time with them.) With my mom’s family, we all usually descend upon the grandparents house and that’s where all the aunts, uncles and cousins gather. My dad’s mom is on her own and lives in a smaller apartment. It’s easier when she can come see us just from a space perspective.
Now here is where we get all complicated and I start to lose my ever living mind.
Not only do the hubs and I have to figure out who we are spending the holidays with from our immediate family perspective, I then have to figure out which year it is for my mom to spend the holidays at her parents or with my dad’s mom. Then I have to see where my sister is going to be. Then we need to figure out what the hubby’s dad is going to do. And then I sort of fall apart unsure of how to make everyone happy.
It’s impossible I know. I’m never going to make everyone happy. There is always going to be someone we don’t get to see. I just need to accept it and move along.
But it’s so hard. The holidays are all ABOUT family. I wish we could all just be together and celebrate as one big chaotic cluster. 🙂 But my house simply isn’t big enough.
I don’t really have a solution. It would be great if pieces of me could be everywhere at once. I also need to accept that as long as I have my husband and my son with me, then I am at home. Doesn’t matter who else is there.
How do ya’ll handle this feeling?
Awesome Erin! Make every second count and just enjoy! We all wish there were a magical solution to get everyone together at once! 🙂 Merry Christmas! Look forward to the New Year 2011 personally and professionally!
Our family is all over the place so basically, we don't even try. We have adopted the every other strategy meaning, every other year/every other holiday. This year it was Thanksgiving with my family here and we'll be going to AL for Christmas. Next year, we'll be with Jerry's fam for Thanksgiving and mine for Christmas. Jerry's dad is in Indiana so sadly, he doesn't really get a holiday. But it's a long complicated story that works out in the end and we see him mid year. I am also wanting to start our own Christmas traditions at home and like you, wonder when that will start. It really is a wonderful time of year and I want to get the most out of it!
We only have the two mothers to worry about which makes it easier; but throw in the wrench that as a healthcare provider I have to work some holidays and it gets messy again. Fortunately of the two other nurses at my base, one's children are grown and gone and the other nurse does not have children. They volunteered to let me off Xmas eve and Xmas day. If I work on Thanksgiving then hubby can spend it with his family. My brother flies into town on Thanksgiving day so we celebrate with my family on the weekend after. We have been having Christmas dinner at my house with both moms. Sadly my mom does not feel like traveling this year (even if I go to pick her up.) I will take the boys to see her on Xmas eve and then hubby's family will be here on Xmas day. That reminds me… I need to make my grocery list.
Living at least 9 hours away from our nearest family makes this an easy choice for us – we stay home at Christmas and alternate Thanksgivings between SC and PA. Good luck coordinating everything!