I love December. I love the holidays. I love the feeling in the air.
I don’t love feeling incomplete and not being able to meet everyone’s expectations (particularly MY OWN.)
One of the toughest things that I think families have to deal with over the holidays is figuring out the dreaded schedule. Who are you going to see on Thanksgiving? Who are you going to see on Christmas? Where are you spending all your holidays? It’s hard enough figuring it out between two families. Throw in divorced families and extended family, and it gets extremely complicated.
Several years ago, I was definitely one of those people who said “when I have kids, ya’ll are going to have to come to us”. And I’m sure once the Squoosh is here and I’m dealing with two munchkins, that will be much more of the truth. But with the Bug, we’ve still hopped around a smidge. Fortunately, both my mother and my MIL live within 30 minutes of us, so we are able to coordinate many holidays where we all celebrate as one large family (which is my preference and what I’m used to. It’s just not Thanksgiving or Christmas if there isn’t lots of people bustling around with loud conversation, games and lots of food.)
However, the rest of the family is spread out.
All of my grandparents live in Virginia. (Yes, I am almost 33 years old and still have 3 living grandparents. I am supremely lucky and cherish every occasion where I can spend time with them.) With my mom’s family, we all usually descend upon the grandparents house and that’s where all the aunts, uncles and cousins gather. My dad’s mom is on her own and lives in a smaller apartment. It’s easier when she can come see us just from a space perspective.
Now here is where we get all complicated and I start to lose my ever living mind.
Not only do the hubs and I have to figure out who we are spending the holidays with from our immediate family perspective, I then have to figure out which year it is for my mom to spend the holidays at her parents or with my dad’s mom. Then I have to see where my sister is going to be. Then we need to figure out what the hubby’s dad is going to do. And then I sort of fall apart unsure of how to make everyone happy.
It’s impossible I know. I’m never going to make everyone happy. There is always going to be someone we don’t get to see. I just need to accept it and move along.
But it’s so hard. The holidays are all ABOUT family. I wish we could all just be together and celebrate as one big chaotic cluster. 🙂 But my house simply isn’t big enough.
I don’t really have a solution. It would be great if pieces of me could be everywhere at once. I also need to accept that as long as I have my husband and my son with me, then I am at home. Doesn’t matter who else is there.
How do ya’ll handle this feeling?