I’m having a bit of a moment.
And it all started because of some song on the radio that annoys me because it’s mostly spoken. You know the one “When I was in the third grade, I thought that I was gay.” Every time it comes on, I change it almost immediately.
Until last week. Until that afternoon when I heard the hook and literally lost all other train of thought. The voice of the woman singing is a bit haunting.
I can’t change.
Even if I tried.
Even if I wanted to.
My love. My love. My love.
She keeps me warm.
I found myself dumbstruck.
It was beautiful and got me thinking. Really thinking. Then I got irritated. After awhile, I found myself angry – like seeing red, spitting fire MAD, which is silly really because I can’t control what other people think and believe around the topic of gay marriage.
Regardless, I was mad wondering the hell is wrong with all of us. People are homeless, starving, DYING….and we’re worried about who strangers fall in love with. Why do we care? Why are we so focused on it that it’s EVERYWHERE. I just want to scream “mind your own business!”
No one would listen.
I don’t understand.
I’m human, just like you. I have faults and flaws.
I’m a bit vain. I can be a snob. In my lifetime, I have admittedly felt superior to others – more attractive, smarter. It’s not something I’m proud of, but it’s the truth.
I’ve thought I was better than others. But I’m not. And I’m certainly not more deserving.
Think about that word for a minute – deserving. Digest it.
We use it often. I deserve to be picked for the team. I deserve to make more money. I deserve to meet a good man/woman. I worked hard therefore I deserve it. He’s lazy so he doesn’t. She’s didn’t try hard enough so she doesn’t.
But that word doesn’t work when it comes to love. We all deserve to love and be loved….every. single. solitary. one of us. Every human on our planet. Love – a word that exceeds all attempted definitions, the feeling of complete acceptance. I truly believe that.
So why do some deserve the freedom to love at will, while others don’t?
I am struggling – as a mother, as a woman, as a human being.
How can I raise my children in this world? How can I teach them acceptance of others when it’s so clear that we, as a society, are NOT, in fact, accepting of those who think and feel differently from us. I want them to see the world for all its beautiful potential, not the “monsters under the bed” ugliness , but that’s not realistic is it?
We all have the basic, human right to love. To take that right away is criminal. To say that one person deserves it over another is insane. Gay or not. Straight or not. Black. White. Asian. Hispanic. I don’t care. We all have the same right to a happy life filled with love.
It doesn’t mean that life will happen, that love will happen. But should you find it, that right should still be there. And who cares if someone doesn’t like who you choose as a partner. I’m fairly certain that there are plenty of people out there who don’t care for a straight friend or family member’s spouse or partner.
We’re all entitled to our opinion. It’s the freedom we get for living here. But that doesn’t mean that opinion counts for anything. It doesn’t mean we get to decide what is best for other people. It just means we disagree. I disagree with people about many, many things, but I can accept that we feel differently and move on.
I am sad for our nation. We fight constantly – telling each other what to do with our lives, with our bodies, our hearts.
It’s not right.
I don’t understand.
I honestly hope I never do.
Instead I’ll try and focus on love. The love I have for my children. My husband. My friends.
Because it keeps us warm.
I love that song, and if you haven’t seen the video, go to YouTube immediately and watch it. And have tissues nearby.
I think people’s views on this are shifting quickly, and hopefully (fingers crossed) by the time our kids are our age, they’ll be puzzled as to why it was ever an issue. (Sort of like we are about interracial marriage.)
For now, though, all you can do is try to teach your kids by example. Which you’re already doing. 🙂
Thank you for sharing this. I can never put into words what I feel, but that song is so beyond touching every dang time I hear it. I’ll keep loving you, no matter what. 🙂
I agree, Kelly. I’m nearly frozen every time I hear it. It’s powerful.
Well said. I just heard that song on the radio a few days ago and was pulled in. It is unbelievable how hard people are fighting to stop others from having love. Why? I don’t get how someone else’s love can harm you. Honestly, a little more love in the world would be a very good thing. And, I agree with Cindy, we keep teaching our kids to love and that love is good no matter what – hopefully they will be part of a better tomorrow.
SUPER well said, Erin! I downloaded the song the first time I listened to the words. You are so right and I feel the same way. Agree to disagree and let people live their lives the way they want. We need more love in this world. Kindness always wins!
This post is perfect, Erin. It’s such a powerful song. I totally agree with what you said: we all have the right to a happy life filled with love.
Thank you Erin! I could not agree more!
I “discovered” this song this past weekend and I absolutely love it and I really enjoyed your post. I appreciate your honesty and your take on what it means to “deserve” something. I marinated on it as you suggested. Love is something we all deserve…are all worthy of…no matter what. Another fave? “We’re all entitled to our opinion. It’s the freedom we get for living here. But that doesn’t mean that opinion counts for anything. It doesn’t mean we get to decide what is best for other people. It just means we disagree. I disagree with people about many, many things, but I can accept that we feel differently and move on.” Brilliant.
Thanks lady. I really appreciate it.
Lovvvve!
I don’t know the song but I agree with you–even if someone thinks homosexuality is sinful, that is between that person and God…I do not enter into the equation at all. We do not live in a theocracy. Normally, I think it is a false dichotomy to say, “Why worry about X when Y is so much more important” but, in this case, with people concerning themselves with others’ private lives and emotions, I think it is a valid point. And to love and be loved–yeah, I think that is a basic human right.
Thanks Candace. That is where so much of my struggle lies. No one has to like it. But to make it illegal? To take away the right of an individual, a right that in no way, harms another human being? I don’t get it.
I really do agree with you. There’s way too much else going on for us to be that concerned what two people who love each other are doing. It’s not like two people loving one another caused me to self-combust, ya know? Thanks for writing this.
Beautifully said!
Aww I want to hug you! This is perfectly written and you are having some very similar feelings that I’ve experienced. Thank you for sharing your heart <3
It’s taken me some time to come by and see this post, but I love it. I love that song and I so know. Thanks for sharing all of these thoughts. Well written and important stuff.
Except for Thrift Shop, meant for the radio…the whole album is awesome. Each song sends a message. In “make that money” he says…”make that money don’t let that money make you. Change the game don’t let the game change you.” He cusses but his words have meaning…unlike most of what we hear today.