My dear friend, Erin, over at Cultivating Rosebuds is in the midst of a dilemma. It seems her 3 year old daughter has recently discovered that she doesn’t have blue eyes like her mommy, but rather brown eyes like her daddy. This is not making little Miss H happy and it has continued on for days. Therefore, her mama isn’t very happy either because she, of course, wants her daughter to love herself for who she is.
Could this just be a little phase and in a few weeks, she’ll forget? Sure. But as a woman, a woman who has her fair share of things she’d change about herself, I totally empathize with Erin.
This is a tough one. It’s one of the reasons I’m currently grateful for having a boy. I pray to God that he loves himself and is happy with the skills he has and grows into and that we are able to move along through life with relatively few speed bumps. I will reiterate with him the same I would with a girl – everyone is special in a different way, no one is the same. I know there might come a day that he wishes he had blonde hair or that he were taller, but I’m not as worried. With a girl, I think you have an entirely different set of issues to deal with.
It’s scary to think how fast girls grow up these days. I’ve seen the elementary school girls at the park, acting much older than they are, yearning to grow up and be an adult. I remember feeling that way.
Now I just want to freeze time for them. Tell them to love their bodies, their quirks, their talents and just enjoy life. It goes by so fast.
I think that we, as parents, can set better examples. I know that as the Bug gets older, I need to watch what I say. I don’t want him to hear me berate myself when I’m feeling ugly or fat or even that I hate my clothes and nothing fits right. I want him to know that his parents can be confident, happy people. And when we’re not, we need to remember to tell our children that we’re having a bad day and that sometimes that happens and it’s okay to be sad.
In the meantime, I truly hope that little Miss H comes to love her beautiful brown eyes. Do ya’ll have any advice for Erin? If so, please pay her a visit and tell her I sent you.
Thanks girlie. I really appreciate your support!
Miss you!
Agree with you that whenever I hear things like this, I'm glad I have boys! (as much as I wanted a girl) I know my mom never intended to distort my body image but she did. She constantly worries and complains, out loud, about her weight. It affects me to this day. I hope I can avoid stuff like that with my kids.
I think about this every day! I want my DD to grow up loving herself… quirks, differences and all. Sometimes she crawls into the bathroom while I am putting makeup on… she looks up at me from the floor and I know she is thinking, "What is mommy doing?" So, I tell her, "Mommy is putting on makeup. Makeup doesn't make you any prettier than you already are; it just enhances your beauty." I tell her this often b/c I know one day she will want to put on makeup, too!