Life has peaks and valleys; it ebbs and flows. But most of the time, we are standing in the middle of the road.
But the middle isn’t talked about. It’s not celebrated. We are always pushing for more – to do more, be more. Satisfactory isn’t allowed. We must excel at all times. We aren’t allowed to even be average.
I’m tired, overwhelmed and in a place where I don’t feel like I’m doing that great of a job at anything. It’s not true (or so my husband says), but yet, it’s a feeling that I can’t quite shake.
It’s a season that we all experience, yet somehow, when we are in it, we feel incomplete and at a loss. Why? One can’t be amazing all the time. It’s not humanly possible. Yet we live in a world where we are encouraged and pushed to be the best we can be every day. That would be okay except that society has interpreted that sentiment to mean we have to be ON, ACTIVE, DOING, CREATING every second of every hour.
But guess what? Sometimes our best is just putting one foot in front of the other. Sometimes our best is a 2.5 in a 5.0 GPA world. Sometimes just getting out of bed is the best that we can do. AND THAT IS OKAY.
Dictionary.com defines average as “typical; common; ordinary”. Life has defined it as subpar and mediocre and that’s simply not the case. Typical means it happens more often than not. Common reminds me that EVERYONE feels this way sometime. The middle of the road is, indeed, common, but we’re made to feel like it’s not.
I need to give myself a break. WE need to give ourselves a break.
Slow down. Breathe. Be.
I am one person. There is only so much I can do and give at one time. I have limits.
This season – this holiday season- may be the hardest time to be stuck in the middle. We are all running, constantly sprinting from thing to thing. More than ever, it’s the time to stop and give ourselves permission to be IN. THE. MIDDLE.
We rejoice in the huge accomplishments and we reach out to our friends who are in need – but we also need to acknowledge this middle ground. Slowing down is not a weakness. Saying no is always ok. Not giving 110% is perfectly fine.
I’m screaming UNCLE and accepting where I am today. I’m standing in the middle of the road. If you’re feeling that way too, I invite you to join me. I offer coffee and hugs.
Nikol Murphy says
Erin,
I’m so glad you wrote this. I have seen a few posts like this recently and I hate how we all push ourselves so hard with unrealistic expectations. Hugs to you and you ARE rocking it even when you are in the middle.
Leigh Powell Hines says
I stay in the middle a lot and I’m really getting comfortable with that, but I’m also 46 now, and just don’t care. 🙂
Leigh
Allison B says
I think the middle of the road is a great place to be. Not every day can be fantastic and no one wants to be in a bad spot so middle of the road is a good place.
Andrea B. says
Yes. I get it. I truly do.
I kind of want to say let’s go out for coffee and just BE together, and know that this week is probably crazy mode pre-holidays, but let’s maybe all try to do that after the holidays, okay?
We can just talk about BEing. And quietly sip coffee, tea or cocoa. And not judge each other or ourselves.
Erin L. says
YES to a quiet coffee/tea date. And never judging. XOXO
Megan says
Love this!!
Kelly {the Centsible Life} says
YES! So much this. As my kids get older it’s something I’m teaching them to do as well. Sending you virtual coffee and lots of love.
Tamara says
This time of year makes everything even harder. I always feel like I’m running through life (and usually running late too!) but when you pile on baking, cooking, shopping, wrapping, celebrating…it gets too much to keep up with. I always try to preserve at least one weekend day (or evening) when I am offline and single tasking — hopefully at something relaxing!
Leah Klein says
Amen to that! You do your best and your best is enough. Good some days, $&*tty other days, and fantastic the rest of the time.
Jenn says
I don’t know what you’re talking about, I only have two speeds: awesome and awesome-r! No, but really, I completely agree. “Good” is never enough anymore, we have to be “great” and “excellent” and if we are satisfied with being happy and living a normal life, then there’s something wrong. I just try to ignore everyone else and do my own thing – and very often, that means just chilling and “just getting by.”
Lori Popkewitz Alper says
Tis the season. Thank you for writing this and for taking good care of yourself. Life definitely has its up and downs and we all need to take a step back every now and again to recognize that our health (mental and physical) comes first.
Krystyn @ Really, Are You Serious? says
I get this in every single sense of the words you are saying! I often wonder how the hubby thinks I’m not dropping balls and not goofing up, but he does. So, they either wear rose-colored glasses or we are too hard on ourselves.
Erin L. says
Yes ma’am – too hard on ourselves. I wish we’d relax because when I do – I am SO much happier.
Melissa {Blog Clarity} says
So true! It’s so easy to see someone else pushing and then think you aren’t doing enough. But I like to think they were recently in that middle ground too. Coffee and hugs sounds great– let’s make it happen!
Des says
I’ll hang out with you in the middle as long as you’d like.
Erin L. says
xoxo, Desiree! Hope to see you sometime in 2015!
Stacey Ferguson (@justicefergie) says
Amen and say it again! I’m sending coffee and hugs right back to you.
Erin L. says
We just have to keep saying it — maybe it’ll eventually sink in.
Betsy says
I love this post. It’s strange the pressure we put on ourselves to do, something… anything, rather than simply be. I’m in. And I love coffee. But coffee might just be another sign we’re trying to fight our natural inclination to rest, even hibernate, certain times of year. I’m a strong believer in the need for everything in nature, including humans, to ebb and flow. But knowing this and accepting those extra long ebb periods, is not one and the same. Perhaps one day, with more confessional posts like this one, it will sink in for us all.
Erin L. says
Thanks Betsy, I really appreciate your thoughts. And you are totally true on the coffee note – so we’ll make it before noon ok? 🙂
Pilar says
Amen. There’s a reason I call myself the “world’s okayest mom.” It really takes the pressure off.