I spent five days at a lake house surrounded by family, nature, and lots of good times.
Yet, I found myself stuck a bit back in Raleigh – wondering what was going on, trying to plan my trip to BlogHer on Thursday and so much more. That’s a little sad right?
On Thursday, I forced myself to just sit outside and stare at the water. I was amazed at how difficult I found that to be. I wanted my mind to be at rest, but it kept meandering all over the place.
SILENCE I shouted at myself.
It was maddening. I sat there, having internal arguments with myself.
BE HERE.
ENJOY THE NOW.
APPRECIATE YOUR SURROUNDINGS.
Don’t get me wrong. I had an amazing time. I wasn’t constantly somewhere else. Watching my children explore new places and experience new things filled my heart with pure joy. My son went out on a canoe and barely said two words the entire time because he was in THAT MUCH AWE by all that was around him. In that moment, I was too. But the moment was too brief. It should have been that way the entire time.
We spent each evening playing games and laughing hysterically – gut busting, tears down your face, pee your pants laughter. I love my family and treasure how lucky I am.
But I felt like each enjoyable moment was just that – a moment. My moments were dissected when they should have been fluid.
I should be able to just be. Be still. Be quiet. Be off.
That’s it. I’m “addicted” to being on.
The next vacation, I don’t want any phones or computers. I don’t want ANY access to distraction. I didn’t intend to check Facebook, but when I went to look something up on Google, the temptation was there. I didn’t mean to look at my blog stats, but when I checked the news, I felt compelled.
I don’t NEED any of that. I need family. That’s it.
It’s a sad state of affairs that I felt the need to write this post. But I have a feeling I’m not alone. I’d like to rewind and go back to the way things used to be, where we didn’t always have access to what everyone and their mother is doing at all times. Who cares? I really don’t, so why do I do it?)
(I came across this image from strikingtruths.com and thought YES YES YES! Very appropriate for this post.)
Turn off if you can. Find time to be still today.
When we went on our quick little vacation last week I kept checking my email since I was expecting a few important emails. Every time i picked up my phone I internally scolded myself saying knock it off, just enjoy your family time and pretend you don’t even have a phone yet I kept doing it. Sometimes it can be hard to completely unplug. Don’t beat yourself up, I’m sure most of us have been there.
SO HEAR YOU!! I had all of this mini panic attacks this weekend about the conference and then I just looked over at W and decided to ditch everything and take him on a road trip to the ocean. We spent the day building sand castles. Is my in box a big exploded? Sure. Do I regret this day? Hell no.