Fears over having another child? You’re not alone.
I’m Coleen and I’ve known Erin just about as long as I can remember (We were 10 when we met…timidly in fifth grade as we rehearsed our hilarious fifth grade musical production of Pandora’s Box.) I have an 18-month old little girl who is freaking awesome. She is not always easy or perfect, but she is absolutely my greatest accomplishment to date. (And, even though I’m quite sure her awesomeness has little to do with me, I will happily take credit, for now).
I work full-time in marketing, which makes for a fun balancing act. Fortunately, I love my career and have an amazing husband who is also super-dad (he doesn’t think so and thinks I edited this statement out) and since we’ve been getting by pretty well, we decided to tempt fate and embark on baby #2. This one’s a boy (Junior, for now) – due March 22, and they’ll be just 21 months apart. So, when Erin asked me to do a blog highlighting any thoughts I had as a second-time mom, I started to worry.
While many of the worries I experienced with my first pregnancy don’t apply this time around, there are still plenty to keep me up at night (along with this kicking maniac in my stomach and Peanut, who loves to wake up at 4 am)
What about my Peanut? I am sort of obsessed with my little girl and she is getting more FUN every day. I don’t want my exhaustion and the general neediness of a newborn to impact my relationship with her. I also don’t want her to feel any less special now that my attention will be divided. This is my biggest worry, so I am all ears to suggestions.
What about Junior? Will I be able to give Junior as much attention as I gave Peanut? I already know the answer to this is NO and maybe that’s OK, but I can’t help worrying that he won’t feel as special as Peanut did because I will obviously be a bit more distracted. I’m going to try to make sure we have quality time by keeping Peanut with our nanny for half days while I’m on maternity leave, but this one is a big worry, too.
The balancing act. My relationships, my career, my house…all of these things are important to me. It’s so hard having kids and focusing on anything else – especially when you work full-time. I have no idea how I will find time to foster my friendships, focus on my career and maintain my sanity. My husband and I have started having lunch dates which is AWESOME and I highly recommend it, but I have not yet found a solution for keeping in better touch with my friends and extended family. As for my career, I am 100% focused when I am there and have got to learn to turn it OFF when I get home. This will only get harder when Junior makes his arrival.
What the WORLD will I do with a BOY? While I’m not an insanely girly-girl, I love clothes, makeup, chick flicks, crafts and baking and I grew up with FIVE sisters. I have never played a sport in my life and am totally eeked out by bodily functions, bugs and superheroes, and generally don’t know much about how boys (or men for that matter….) think or operate. This terrifies me.
Those are the big worries, then I have a few (little?) ones that keep nagging at me.
Labor I will spare you the details, but last time around was far more heinous than I ever expected. In fact, I wasn’t even really worried about labor with Peanut. After my experience, I am now TERRIFIED to the point that I emailed our anesthesiologist before I even told anyone I was pregnant to beg for a plan to avoid a rehashing of labor with Peanut. Keeping my fingers crossed on this one…
Will I ever get my body back? I know this is so unimportant in the big picture, and let me start by saying, I’ve never worn a bikini and I don’t wear heels, so it’s not like I’m crazy vain or anything. I would just like to know that things may eventually shift back to where they were and oh, there’s the pelvic floor issue to consider. I CANNOT have three of us in diapers and that’s all I will say about THAT.
I’m sure this list will evolve. I keep telling myself people have been doing this for generations and if my mom could do it SEVEN times, I think I can handle TWO. I’ll just have to let some things go and enjoy all the wonderful, hilarious moments that come along.
I can’t wait to check out some cool baby products and let you know how they work for us as we manage this roller coaster ride.
Erin had fears too when she was pregnant with her second. Check out 7 reasons I’m scared about baby #2.