No seriously. I used to have it.
In fact, my best friend used to say I had the patience of a saint.
Well, I guess that ship has sailed. Because now that I have an almost three year old and an infant…that patience is GONE.
Adios.
Bye-Bye.
Sayonara.
I realize that some of it is due to lack of sleep. Doctors, friends, neighbors, the Internet…they’ll all tell you how sleep deprivation can get the worst of you.
But this?
This?
This is something more. I can’t quite describe it.
Take today for example. Bug didn’t nap. At approximately 3:30, he lost all semblance of my sweet faced boy and a whiny, heinous beast took his place. I wasn’t just annoyed. I wasn’t just mad.
I SAW RED.
Red people. As in anger. As in I was shaking.
I walked away. For crying out loud, he’s almost three. Most of the time he has NO idea what he’s doing.
I know I’m not alone. I commiserate with many parents about the terrible two’s, the evil threevil and more. But the severe lack of patience where a plethora used to be…well, I’m bothered.
I’m the one who says “come on, it’s not that big of a deal.”
I’m the one who tells people to chill out.
I’m the one who takes the hard crap with a grain of salt.
I love my children will all my heart and soul. I realize it’s normal to be annoyed at them, mad at them even. I know it’ll happen over and over for the rest of my life. (Hell, I know my mom gets annoyed with me!)
But…
But…
While it’s normal to be mad, this isn’t normal for me. At least it didn’t used to be.
I pray this is short lived. I don’t enjoy feeling this way even for seconds at a time. I want my children to learn patience, but how can I teach it when I have none left to give?
My girls are 12 years apart and I sure don’t have the patients I once had. I sometimes miss those days too.
I’m considered the patient, laid-back parent, sister, mom, as well. But every now and then, I lose my cool. It’s totally normal. I understand completely what you’re feeling as I’ve been there. Sometimes I lose it when I have little me time, little sleep or my blood sugar is low. Just things to keep in mind. And also, remember you are a wonderful mom. And doing it right isn’t easy!
Ah! Those were the days. You’re not alone. Patience is a virtue only saints have I used to say. Having small children is truly difficult and patience may seem non-existent at certain times, but the irony of it all is that they are great instruments in honing that skill in us. We do adapt eventually and our patience in time grows longer. Hugs my friend!
Every parent experiences this! It’s so, so normal even for someone who has the ‘patience of a saint.’ Walking away is the right thing to do in that moment. I know it doesn’t feel like you are ‘yourself’ but children change us immensely, and entirely for the better. It may not seem that way now but being less patient may actually be a good thing!
(hugs)
*HUGS* I know exactly what you’re talking about. I also used to have the patience of a saint. After my third was born it seem to fly out the window. I have been trying to work on getting it back. I will say it’s hard but it’s not something to give up on. If you ever want to talk/vent/scream my email is always open.
I only have one and I feel this way sometimes too. More often tan I would like really. I think it is just a part of parenting.
Oh, how I can relate! You are most definitely NOT alone. I constantly strive to dig up whatever patience I can muster, especially with the 3-year-old. Hang in there!
There’s a German proverb: Patience is a bitter plant that yields a sweet fruit.
For a long time I had the concepts of patience and peace tangled up in my mind. Hang in there, it gets better… and quit praying for patience, God has a sense of humor. 😉
I totally feel this way a lot. So much so that I know I’m not cut out for being a full SAHM. I need the preschool morning hours! I’m sorry you’re feeling this way but trust me, you’re not alone. It was just a bad day… today will be better!
Terrible twos ain’t got nothin’ on temper-tantrum threes and rebellious fours.
Blarg Lisa! So basically you are saying I’m screwed. 🙂 Ha!
Welcome to my world. 🙂
We’ve all been there babe. I have been told I have the patience of a saint, but there comes a point it just starts to dissipate.Hang in there cookie, I’m behind you all the way.
I have recently been wondering the same thing. My Little One is about to be 1 and I wondered the other day where some of my patience had gone. I am patient with him but I am not with other things in my life that I used to be. For example, I didn’t have much shower pressure the other morning and instead of being thankful that I had hot water and a shower to even take, I became quite irritated and aggravated. I kind of wonder if there is this jar of patience and you only have so much to use each day. Fortunately, I do feel like the jar starts anew each day.
Anyhoo, I feel you!
Totally know how you feel. I felt that way a lot with my first child. I’ve got a lot more patience the second time around, but I still blow up at the first a lot. I think a lot of mine has to do with hormones, too. You’re definitely not alone.