All the balls are in the air, whirling around my head at break neck speeds.
I can’t catch my breath, let alone one single ball.
That one single ball could be my relief. If I could just catch one ball, I might be able to relax, to let my shoulders and neck sink back into themselves.
So much chaos and I can’t control it.
But that’s life right? Periods of calm followed by periods of insanity. It’s just where I am right now.
At the beginning of July, I took on two new jobs, part-time of course. Then my hard drive started having problems; then it crashed. Not super helpful when both of your jobs are ONLINE.
Then my kids got sick. Not just a cold, but a wicked virus that took hold and WOULD. NOT. LET. GO. Both kids were down for a solid five days – about a week apart. It made for a really fun time.
My Wonderbug starts kindergarten at the end of the month. We’ve purchased all the school supplies and procured a “first day of school” outfit. Yet, I am still on edge. I am both excited, nostalgic and scared. Will he love it? Will he make new friends? Will I miss him?
His second week of school I’ll be gone for work. He won’t even notice, but I will. I’m anxious about it but know it will be fine.
A family member is coming to stay with us for awhile. The house isn’t ready. It shouldn’t matter. It doesn’t matter, but in my head, where the list of to-do items is 100 feet long, it does. Our guest needs a bed. Once I clean off all the winter clothes that have slowly piled upon it, he’ll have one. The rest will come in time.
I haven’t seen my girlfriends much lately. I miss them.
Then there’s this awesomeness that is my grandmother’s 90th birthday. We are planning some lovely surprises for her, but guess what? They take time. Time that I can’t seem to get a grasp on.
Time. It ticks by. It mocks us. It teases and taunts.
But it’s all we have. Time.
I’ll catch the balls. Maybe not in the order that I’d like. Maybe not as quickly as I would have hoped.
The list will change. Items will get crossed off; new ones will be added.
Then maybe, just maybe, I’ll get to a period of calm.