Over a year ago, I wrote a post about my husband reading my 5 month old son some crude bedtime stories from Sandra Boynton and Dr. Seuss. I noted that my husband knew he had a finite amount of time that he could say wildly inappropriate things to our son, so I let it slide. My husband’s humor is hilarious, corny and mostly inappropriate AT ALL TIMES.
Do you think anything’s changed now that we read stories to our 19 month old? No sir. Not at all.
My father-in-law purchased a book of Children’s Mythology for the Bug. It’s a smidge advanced right now, but for some reason he picks it out for a bedtime story every night. I mean it, every night.
So instead of reading the stories, we usually point out the pictures (minus the scary Medusa picture and the mean killer birds) and make things up. This was tonight courtesy of Daddy.
“Oh, do you see the man with the big arrow? He’s going to go stab his wife because she cheated on him.”
“Hmmm, that man found a woman and her baby in a bathtub. He must be doing mushrooms.”
And there was some “butt” reference that I can’t even go into on this blog because I try to be family friendly. However, if you know my husband at all, I’m sure you can imagine the direction he went in.
He’s not alone right? Please tell me there are other husbands out there who tell their kids about the animals that are trying to “get some” and about the woman who was mad at her husband but still had to go do the dishes.
Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?
This is hilarious! Definitely something my hubby would do if we had kids!
I can't say that I've altered the girls' bedtime stories to that extent (ie – mushrooms, cheating, etc), but I definitely change up the stories when they get old.
Being the father of three girls, I sometimes find it hard to relate to them…so I try to get a laugh out of them. Whether that's changing up a "Biscuit" story to where Biscuit wants to bite someone in the "bum" or changing the lyrics of Twinkle-Twinkle to include bathroom humor, the sound of them belly-laughing is worth the risk. And, when you read the same *&$# stories over and over, it's fun to mix it up from time-to-time.
Warn your hubby, though – if you constantly change the story, the children may think that it's the ACTUAL story, as my middle one did with the aforementioned Biscuit story. Also, I've had toilet humor words slip at the dinner table. At that point, I had to retreat for a while, until the kids understood that such humor was solely for Daddy / Daughter story time.
Trust me – my wife has reacted the same way. But then she remembers that I'm putting all three kids to bed and quietly forgets it 🙂
I think the only reason that my hubby alters the story is because he does not have his reading glasses on and has no idea what the words actually are. Gotta love that your hubs has a great sense of humor.
Hahah! That is hilarious. My husband likes to sing with the ukulele to Oscar and it's anybody's guess as to what the lyrics will be 🙂
Casey does it too, you are not alone.