Oh hi, it’s me.
It’s Tuesday morning and I’m still wearing my robe, even though I sat down to start my work day an hour ago.
Yesterday, on a family walk, I threatened to push my 9 year old into a tree if she didn’t change her tone. I screamed “I’m on a call” one time too many. And my scale is an asshole.
Quarantine life is getting to me.
To be honest, for the most part, we’ve all adjusted to the our current normal. The first month was full of anxiety, dread, confusion etc. The second month has been full of a different anxiety — the unknown of “how much longer”, but also full of “ok, this is how it is now”…an acceptance of sorts.
We all knew there would be no going back to school. We knew it. Yet, when the news came it was like a gut-punch – 6-7 more weeks of online learning and then what…. Will there be camps? Will we be able to go on any of our planned vacations? CAN WE SEE OUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY?
We need connection. I crave connection. Last week we had two nights that made my entire month. We sat outside….two neighbors 6-10 feet away and talked…for a long while. We had a fire. It felt good, it felt like normalcy. When we get to Phase 1 or 2 and we’re allowed to have gatherings of more than our family, this is all I want. Friends and family, sitting on a driveway or porch, hanging out. I don’t NEED anyone to come inside. I don’t NEED to have mass gatherings. But I do need people. I miss people.
We are SO incredibly fortunate to have an amazing neighborhood with really awesome neighbors. I can’t imagine living somewhere where we couldn’t go on walks and talk
yell? to people (from a safe distance) and chat as folks grab their mail or walk their dog.
The kids are doing okay. We’ve had amazing weather these last two weeks. This means the kids have been outside A LOT and that’s been a god-send. Exercise and Vitamin D does a body good. Em has lamented that we don’t have anything fun to do in our yard, but she was able to create a makeshift hot tub out of a cooler and later, a baby pool. Imagination for the win!
What will May bring? More of the same, I guess. Maybe, just maybe we’ll get to see more people…if we’re comfortable, if we’re safe and make smart choices.
For now, I’m just going to continue to take deep breaths, do the best I can and find joy in the small things…even when that seems really, really hard.