I’m constantly amazed by this parenting gig and what these two (not so) small people can make me do. Well up with tears as they sing a song? Check. Cry laughing as they do something hilarious? Check. Scream in anger and frustration…like a juvenile? Oh yeah….check, check, check.
I don’t know what happens right before the fifth birthday, but it’s happening in full force at the Lane household. It’s as if my daughter’s brain is firing on all synapses and is about to spontaneously combust. There is seemingly constant tears and the whining is on overdrive. Let’s not even talk about the screaming. I. CAN’T. TAKE. IT. There is not an ounce of patience for that behavior left in my body. Not one.
I need a break.
That was completely evident to me on Monday when I found myself literally jumping up and down as I yelled at her. Seriously. It was as if I was outside my body, watching myself, but I couldn’t make it stop. I was aghast at my behavior as soon as it was done. I left the room, walked into the garage and sat on the steps to collect myself.
That was ridiculous.
I took several deep breaths and went back inside. She was still crying her eyes out, but listened to me as I apologized for my meltdown. Then we both agreed to try harder.
I still can’t believe it happened…that I would get so angry and irrational that I found myself jumping up and down just like my children do when they are losing their minds. But it was also a good reminder of how emotions can take over, in both children and adults. Once you’ve crossed that point of no return, there’s no stopping it until it’s done. Then a time-out is in order.
I’m not proud of my behavior. It’s pretty horrifying actually. But it happens. I’m human after all. And this small human apparently knows how to push all the right buttons.
I might not make it to five. Please send coffee and wine.
Laughing only because I have definitely been there. And thought “oh my gosh, what is wrong with me?” before cooling down and also apologizing. I think it might have been somewhat helpful in parenting my son. Helped him see how ridiculous the tantrums can get. Not that he fully stopped or anything. 😉