I watched you yesterday. Running with your daddy. Enjoying being outside.
“Come on daddy. RUN!”
I swear you ran almost the entire two miles.
“Turn on your rocket boosters dad!”
I stopped in my tracks for just a second. For a brief moment, my heart froze as a question flickered across my mind.
If something happened to us, would you remember any of this?
I was four when Daddy died and that day is my first real memory. I have nothing of him before that day.
Bug is three and a half. It breaks my heart to see him with his father and wonder if any of these moments would stick in his head.
I don’t dwell on it. I don’t want to be morbid. But sometimes I can’t help it.
We love him so much. There are days my heart literally aches with the love I have for my children.
I want them to always know how much their parents adore them…that we carry them in our hearts on a daily basis.
I don’t know if my husband every thinks of things like this, or if it’s just me. Part of me knows that all parents have moments in time where worry consumes them. That’s part of the deal with having kids.
As Elizabeth Stone says, “Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”
And outside my body it is. Beating with intensity as I watch my children grow and praying that they are safe and strong and loved.