The day you were born, I changed in more ways than I could have imagined.
I’ve always been a worrier, but now it’s different, more profound.
My heart beats a little faster, a little harder.
I feel the pounding with a fierce intensity.
Little things cause my eyes to open wide at night.
What did I hear? Are you ok? Do you need me?
You cough and I break a cold sweat.
It’s going to be this way forever isn’t it?
When you fall and scrape your knee…
when you run to a friends house and forget to tell me…
When I call and you don’t answer…
when you are late for curfew…
I’m always going to have this panic.
Because you are mine.
Because you ARE me.
You are my heart.
Forever my heart.
When you are sick, I am broken.
When you are hurt, I feel pain.
Today I sat with you still against my chest.
Your heated little body content to be with me.
Not wanting me to let you go.
I will never let you go.
Even when you are grown.
You are mine. I am yours.
And I know I’ll never be the same.
It’ll never be the way it was before I was a mother.
And that’s ok.