The box can’t hold me in


Wooden texture, wood background

I am a woman, wife, mother, writer, marketer, friend, daughter, business woman, theater lover, and so much more. I like to drink a lot of coffee, read smutty books, laugh until my stomach hurts, dance, spend money, smooch my children and my husband, and put my toes in the sand. I don’t like to clean, cook, do yard work or run.

Sometimes I get irritated because I can be super lazy. I have to force myself to do all the things that make my house function, otherwise I’d live in a cluttered pit.  There are moments that I know I should do laundry or put away dishes, but I choose to work instead (and by work, I mean get on Facebook obviously.) There are posts I avoid writing because I’m feeling lackluster and uninspired, so I organize the pantry or go through the kid’s closets.

Then my brain starts talking to me.

A stay at home mom should do…insert X,Y and Z.

A successful business woman should be able to… insert X,Y and Z.

An accomplished writer would…  A popular blogger would…  A good mother would… A good wife would…

There are “rules” (society and self imposed) to follow for each box of life. By not following the rules, I don’t fit in the box, all nice and neat. I don’t fit in the stay at home mom box because I work. I don’t fit in the working mom box because I only work part-time from home.

It’s that damn comparison game again. You know the one that resurfaces every so often to remind you that you aren’t where you want/are supposed to be. (Worst game ever, by the way!)

You look at the world directly in front of you and think:

I should be working more. I’d make more money. We could do more things.

I should be writing on the blog more. I’d have higher traffic, better numbers, get more opportunities.

I should write using the actual words I use in my everyday life, I bet more people would read.

Oh, I can’t write about that on the blog; it would be inappropriate and people would stop reading.

OMG, I’m a horrible mother. All this processed food is going to ruin my children. 

Oh, a treat every once and while won’t kill them.

I really need to clean the house, but I’m exhausted.

I’d love to make a video about x,y, z but no one would probably watch it.

She’s such a good mom, she plays with her kids all the time and seems to enjoy it.

Please god, not one more game of Memory!

This is literally a sample of the conversation that happens within my own head as I navigate the chaos of life, wondering where exactly I fit.


The good news is that I know it’s not just me. The bad news is that I know it’s not just me.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Why can’t we ever just feel free to be who we are? We need to stop – second guessing, comparing, being afraid to embrace all of who we are. We need to stop limiting ourselves, creating boundaries and walls that simply aren’t there and shatter the notion that we have to be a certain way.

I am me. Perfectly imperfect me.

And I don’t fit in a box.





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  1. says

    Accepting your imperfections is a box in its self. The same thoughts run through my mind throughout the day, and I most remind myself why I do what I do and why it’s enough. Beautifully written. Thanks for sharing.

  2. says

    I relate to at least 6 of your “comparison game” statements, so no, you’re definitely not alone on that one. I think it’s a normal thing that we all do, but I also don’t think there’s a standard, one-size-fits-all answer on how to fix it and stop comparing yourself to others.

    FWIW, though, I think you’re pretty awesome.

  3. says

    I love this, Erin. I know it. Every aspect of it – only sometimes it feels like it’s with less working and more b*tching at myself because I don’t do some of the cool things you do for work. See – there it is again. It just comes and goes. I know we all have it. I hope it fades away and we break down all the boxes and just support one another and find the strength in ourselves that I know we all have. Thank you – for opening up here and sharing this. :)

  4. says

    I so feel this. I have worked PT, FT, from home, away from home, and everything in between since my oldest son was born. I’ll be hanging outside the box alongside you.

  5. says

    So well written and very true. I pressure myself a lot to try and keep up and I always feel like I am falling behind. I have always defied “normal” in ways I often wished I could be like everyone else. I guess I am really just outside of the box too. Great post!

  6. says

    We are all imperfectly perfect. Last year, I decided to embrace it, starting a mini-movement to become the “World’s Okayest Mom.” I’ve been much happier since, and more importantly, my family has too.

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