I had my second baby – a freaking ADORABLE little man – just eight weeks ago and I feel GREAT. And (shhh, don’t tell anyone I said this), this is EASY. Yep, I said it. Life with a newborn and a 22-month old girl (who is quite spirited, I might add) is EASY.
After hearing from SO many friends that the move to kid #1 to kid #2 is the hardest transition of all, I’ve been sort of obsessing about why it’s been such a great transition for us.
I think it’s because the hardest part of having your first child is that you have to part with your independence and freedom. With baby #2, you really just lose your sanity because the workload is way more intense. For me, losing my independence was WAY harder because I am already insane and I can’t ever sit still anyway.
Let me explain. Having your first child is the hardest thing you’ve ever done…at the time. When I had my first, I had a few people say to me “This the EASY part. Enjoy this time, before they can walk, talk back, etc.” I wanted to smack those people because at the time, it was the hardest thing I’d ever done.
Now that I have two, I realized, yeah, life WAS “technically” easy with one. While my daughter wasn’t perfect – she was pretty amazing. And, when she slept, I could sleep, too. I didn’t have a jealous toddler yelling at me for snack, or to go potty (yes, we’re potty training with a newborn. Brilliant, I know) etc.
So why does life with your first baby feel SO hard? Well, the loss of independence was the hardest for me, but also most of us have no idea what we’re doing. Plus you have to consider the change in your spousal relationship. Having another human changes the dynamic – not necessarily good or bad, just different. And that’s an adjustment.
The Bottom Line
Life with your first baby isn’t really “hard” – from a workload perspective. It’s just mentally and emotionally exhausting and completely life-altering. When the second kid comes along, you don’t have to deal with the loss of freedom. Once you have kids, you have no real “freedom” – and I’m not complaining. I still go out and see my friends, hang out, etc. But I will never be “free” and I am completely OK with that (most days, anyway) because I have an AMAZING family.
So, why is life with a second baby hard? It just IS. There’s more laundry, more messes, more food to prepare, different stages to manage. Two kids to dress, wash, buckle up – you get the idea. There’s JUST. MORE. WORK. It’s a good thing it takes two parents to make babies. Fortunately for me, I have an amazing husband who works just as hard as I do – around the house AND with the kids.
So, yep, there you have it. Having two kids has been easy for me. I’m only 8 weeks in and I know one day, I probably won’t be able to believe I said this was easy, but for now, I’ll enjoy every second of it.
Parents of more than one child – what was your experience? Was your first or second child easier? I am curious!