There is no “how to” for this

I want this happy boy back!

I’m struggling a bit today as a parent.  As I mentioned yesterday, my son took a little spill this weekend while I was out of town. His face is pretty cut up.  It’s all superficial scrapes, nothing too deep and I don’t anticipate any scars.

But my little boy is scarred.  He won’t look in the mirror.  He doesn’t want to go to school.

It breaks my heart.

This morning both my husband and I tried to push him a little on his feelings.  We wanted him to put words as to why he doesn’t want to go to school. Is he afraid of being pointed at?  Laughed at?  He never said.  He just very firmly told us that he didn’t want to go.  He doesn’t want anyone to see his face.  So we didn’t make him.

He played at the park yesterday and chased around another little boy the entire time.  He didn’t seem to remember his boo-boo at all, which is what I’m hoping happens at school…that he forgets about it.

I’ve emailed his teacher to update her on the situation, as well as ask her to not comment on his face at all.  I think if he can forget that it’s there, it will help tremendously.  We’re going to try again tomorrow.

He’s told me he doesn’t want to go back to school until Halloween.  He knows it’s several sleeps away and that his boo-boo isn’t going to just go away in a day or two.  I’m feeling at a loss and I’m worried about the future.

Just as in my thoughts on my self-esteem a few weeks ago, I know that there will be many times in his life where he won’t feel good about himself.  I dread that day, that week, that month.  I dread when his face breaks out or he has braces and just doesn’t feel right about his appearance.  It’s part of life.  I know this. I do.

But he’s my adorable, amazing little boy and I want him to feel happy.  Happy and attractive.

Where is my parenting manual?  A “How To” Guide for dealing with the unknown?

Pray for quick healing y’all.  We desperately need it.


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  1. says

    Sending healing vibes – I hope it all gets better and that he’s brave enough to say “screw it” soon.

    Maybe he’s focused on Halloween because he thinks he gets to wear a mask? Can you try to make the boo-boo fun in some way? Like a scar for being brave? How did he fall? Doing what?

    He can say he beat off dragons or something, give him a creative way to deal with it? (hugs) mama. You’ll get through it.

    • Erin L. says

      That’s a very cool idea about the dragons, Andrea. I’ll have to see what he thinks about that. (He fell off a trampoline…which had nets around it, but he still fell through.)

  2. says

    He’s little, right? Do you think he is confused about Halloween? Maybe he thinks people will think he is wearing a mask and not his real face. He may just want to stay home as he feels off from his spill. Could you take him to preschool and see how he does once he sees his friends? Chances are good that none of his friends will notice anything is different with him. In many ways toddlers are like teens…my teen is very self-absorbed and did not notice that her sister was wearing contact lenses and not glasses until we told her.
    Good luck!

  3. says

    Praying that he has a peace about school and that you know just the right thing to make sure he’s comfortable with himself. It’s okay for him to look different. I love Andrea’s suggestion too!


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